THE CASE OF THE MEAN ‘SMALL’ SISTER
She looms over with her at the very least 3 inches height advantage, and she is not skinny either. The only reason that I dare call her ‘small is because she addresses me as ‘big sister’ because I am older than her. We are not close enough for me to know exactly how much older. But it was an interesting ‘clicking’ at first encounter that gradually became an office kind of closeness. And we got to sharing intimately as often as we got the chance… exclusively in the office.But we has just about started working on moving it to the home thing when this occurred.
Now, please don’t misunderstand me because of the title. This is a true child of God with a really soft heart and generous nature. But the fact is that she has a very strong personality — like me — but an extrovert — unlike me.
While I considered her extroverted nature a wonder to behold, I gradually got the impression that she felt it her responsibility to drag me out of me own introverted nature… or perhaps that my introverted nature was a form of legalism. But that never bothered me much because indeed you can take a donkey to the stream, but you cannot make it drink. I was comfortable being myself and would laugh off her various attempts, or even laugh with her over the attempts made by other friends to draw me out.
By now, you must have guessed that the rare times we met, we enjoyed each other’s company so much that our friendship was deepening by the day. It still exists today in a manner thank God. But something changed for me after the incident I am about to recount in the next few paragraphs.
I triggered it actually. I cracked a joke that did not go down well with her at all. It is one of those occasions where you say something just to get some laughter and instead of laughter, you get a slap.
Till today, I still wonder what made her so sensitive on this particular day. I strongly suspect it is linked to her belief that introvert means legalism. Or that she was holding a grudge about something she felt she couldn’t say and her very outspoken nature had to release it somehow. In that respect, not unlike me, I think. But then, maybe it was because the joke was in the presence of a third party, which, as it turns out, made me very sensitive too. The fact is that I never saw it coming.
So what was so hurtful? No, not the fact that she used the word ‘opinionated’ to describe me. That could not have hurt me much because this, as in previous cases, is exactly what I thought of her and I enjoyed crossing swords with her. And she is actually one of those friends I love to needle. And I thought we both quite enjoyed the sparring, in a way.
No, it wasn’t that. It was the way she said it, and in the presence of a third party with whom I maintained a cordial but a respectful distant relationship. And the fact that she hissed it out at me quite viciously — that is the only way I can describe it even after such a long time. Which is why I felt the title of the case is quite appropriate. Of course it could have been my imagination, but her intention seemed to be to insult and disgrace me. And she succeeded totally.
I will not lie to you. That day changed my relationship with her. Again, while her comments made no major dent on my ego, especially since I thought the same of her, I would never have said those words to her… and certainly not the way she did and in the company she did. My confidence in her was shaken.
Oh, we are still friends today, but I have cooled off considerably and we are strictly back to the office-like relationship. Fortunately, proximity no longer exists between us, and I am sure it makes no difference to her too. All is well that ends well.
However, I am currently exploring possibilities for a renewal. Friendship is based on confidence, isn’t it? No wonder God wants us to be faithful to Him, who is so much more! This is my takeaway from this experience. What do you think?
NOW, TO THE NEXT AND FINAL CASE ON THIS TOPIC
